haha i dont know why i put that there...hmm nothing for me to say

+ i bet you tell her everything you used to say to me

mmmkay i dont know what im doing.
+ named my flying-v cmdr taco!
+ i love him

+ i bet this guy hates me

+ i might go snowboarding!!

+ the eend.

+ ooooh myyyy goooood im 16 !! haha. cooool.

+man..yesterday was so. incredible? it was way beyond cool. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE! hahaha. man..i felt so special and cared for a loved. you guys are like magic. hahaha. i could blog forever about yesterday but where do i begin?

+ i recieve somethingcorporate..leaving through the window in christmas wrap from jad?
+ getting offspring..splinter from amber and a cake!
+ balloons and a jewel curtain and lil mermaid bagpack. from ling christie and kuya
+ lunch time when george mike desos and surprisingly gabe give me more balloons but one flew away?
+ just being able to hang out a bit after school with cha riz and rine
+ going to dinner with my family at capriciossa [can't spell]
+ getting sung to by the waiters and ppl at capriciossa!
+ the lil cake courtesy of capriciossa with a lil fire candle sparkle thingy :) *beams*
+ getting home and getting sung to again and blowing out candles
+ and getting the best gift that my parents will ever and have ever given me...
+ Ephiphone gibson- flying V is red. . ! hahaha. man i love it to death too its small and compatible with my little hands and short fingers. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

hahaha. kay im a dork..but i will seriously remember that day forever and ever. it was one of the most memorable birthdays i'll ever have. thanks guys i love you. i love you all to death. haha. i think thats my new favorite expression. "love you to death" im forever grateful.. can't ask for anything more. it was near perfect...thanks guys :)

im sixteen ... whooop whoop :)

++..a place where everytime you breathe..a wish comes true..++

+ tomorrow is my birthday. 09 feb. and you know what..it doesnt feel like it!! most definitely not! im undecided on what to do .. some friends are busy with sports and meetings but its okay. i guess i can save my birthday for another day..

+ i coincide the definition of birthday with the definition of a good day . tomorrow is the award assembly. god i despise award assemblies even when i did have a 4.0..i guess i dislike them because i dread standing up in front of a lot of people and stuff. its just... weird. i get self-conscious. anyway its just as worst now that my gpa dropped. but i guess thats okay... im going to college in p.i. anyway right im probably going to have to take some classes over again. the only good thing about assemblies is that your dismissed out of class for awhile.

+ i know psat scores are not significant but knowing my score was pretty low doesn't necessarily mean nothing to me . it means alot and it shows alot too i guess. i really am a terrible test-taker. i feel myself getting stupid-er by the minute....but its okay because i'll just pick myself up again. see im trying to deal with this in an optimistic manner... hahaha. im getting there i hope.

+ so back to what i was saying... i got off-track. . .  for some reason i don't even feel like tomorrow will be a good day but im going to make the most out of it anyway :)

+ tomorrow is just as uncertain as any other tomorrow darn. haha

+ homowork is awaiting...byebye

+ my brother has a girlfriend! i think thats cute...but i think she's probably a bit obsessed with him..but cute nontheless i guess...
+ im being nosey and reading blogs...i think im indulging er..whatever myself into their lovelife due to the lack of mine ? hahahaha. i haev no clue..

+ i hope i get my new cell tomorrow!
+ i realllly really hope i got an electric for my birthday!!! i really do..

well that's all my entries are so meaningless over half the time i write in here.

+these bitten marks annoy me...

++++HOPELESS LOVE++++
[dapnelovesderby]

200 miles away from home
200 miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs
But you don't care at all
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs
You demand to be chased for your love
My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long
But you don't care at all
There nothing I can do to draw you close to me
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again
I've been trying to forget the best parts of you
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow
Please be home tonight
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel
Every time you're here.
What would it take for me to be with you
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed
I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all
Hopeless love please leave me
This broken heart is far to weak to run for you this long
Why don't you care?
I'm dieing for a place in your heart.
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again
I've been trying to forget the best parts of you
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow
Please be home tonight
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel
Every time you're here.
Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight
And now I regret the day we met
Please let me forget your name.

[ no song in head ]

hahaha. blue funk i learned concerns nervous depression? haha. i like the way it sounds..haha its different. i have this passion for variety .. when everythings constant and the same... it tends to be boring.. well i guess thats just me.

valentines day is comming. i hope to have a surprise for you guys ! if i have time to .. yeah. hehe.

i love you !

+  i hope the next girl that you kiss has something terribly contagious on her lips. + [judelawandasemesterabroad-brandnew]


the following coming from one of the most influencial people in my life :

i wish there was more to say than to suck it up. but you know that's not the only thing. i think you're a little insecure. and you let that get a hold of you. you're a beautiful, intelligent girl. but you don't allow yourself to believe that. if you keep crying, all those tears would block the true beauty of this world. you don't want to die one day and say "hey, my life sucked." you want to die and tell everyone at your death bed that "life was beautiful & nothing hurt." you will one day realize that.

+ thank you ate marla :)
   that meant alot to me like i posted in your xanga..

+ i think i am  beginning to escape and release myself from deep, hidden, ugly, anguish..and slowly letting in some sun. i guess i needed inspiration .. and i guess i count on good friends- okay more like depend- on good dear friends and ate marla to help me see what i can't see when it's right before me. they emphasize and remind me what life is about and not to ruin chances and just to learn from mistakes to move on. i knew along what i need to do/ have to do...but it takes someone to show me what i have to do.
+ so i should stop crying so much...i suppose i need to teach myself to hold tears back that don't need to be cried for..[?] and saturate my head with happythoughts. i guess i should obtain a little more optimism in my life..
+ work a little more harder in school and exert myself to what i know i can do...
+ instigate confidence...?

hmmm. i guess that's all...right? hm.i guess so0o.
special thanks and hellos  too :
+ ling rine , geezel, amber, riz , ate marla , kuya s., cha , gian
for cheering me up when you can and being people to come to and talk to..:)

+++++++++ i l o v e y o u +++++++++++++++

well that's all for tonight... off to slumber here i coome..

song: dinner at the money table- earlynovember

i really hate math...
soccer was fun...
i hate algebra II...
i hate chemistry
i hate the lab we did today
i love pretz
i love blue and yellow
i hate having nothing special to say..

HmMmM. nothing really..
+ today was empty..haha i think people stayed home to watch superbowl. truthfully i honestly really did not care who wins superbowl..coz honestly i'm not fond of it. football..haha i dont know why.

+i want to write super good. i dont know how much longer i can complain but it seems i never get better at writing...it doesnt come natural to me 24/7 like those other people.i read their blogs and i begin to feel green with envy.hahaha.. im degenerating ?

Well goota go. goodnight. this page sucks buuuutttttt..