+ so its valentines day, a day of happy love to share and all i have is some chocolate to consume for this lonely heart.. haha
+ i need to practice playing guitar again. i haven't had a lot of time its the first time im playing since..monday! sheeeshes ! hahaha. oh well..hmm im gona try to learn standard lines, hurricane, hands down..and over it. pretty good songs..not so hard i just need to practice alot. i wish long fingers were in my possession. . but oh well im thankful i have hands anyway.
+ i rearranged my room again. thats the onlyplace i feel safe. honestly . . its my sanctuary. hahaha..yeah. its great i love my room now. i wish someone would lock me up in there .
+ earlier i felt a bit anti-social and felt like i did not want to be around anyone at all. but now i feel like i need someone to be with me... i have these wierd moods. like i want to play ffx but i need someone to just be with me there. i was playing guitar but i just need someone to be there with me too. now i feel like..very dependent. im like a child that is in constant need for their safety blanket. i just wish i knew where mine was..
+ "some or the best things in life were mistakes" something like that. it's from paycheck a movie i watched last night. i agree with it...or..i can relate to it i guess..it pertains to this boy who i know is a mistake and it shouldn't have happend..but he's one of the best things that's probably ever happend to me.. yeah probably.. but its okay. its been a year .. actually over a year and i always its always him i keep coming back to. a piece of me is still left with him and i want that piece back...just not with him in it. but then again sometimes i feel if [and high doubts for it to ever happen] there was ever a second chance..i feel like i'd take it in a heartbeat. but yeah you know just .. hopeless thoughts
+ i heard that he likes me and i really hope not because i don't want him to get hurt i really care for him as a friend but...just not the other way
+ today would have been really special i guess but thanks to time its not us anymore . .
+ happy valentines day everyone <3 :)